Transitioning to natural hair–why wait?
Your frame of reference to many things is shaped when you are a child, whether you are 25 or 55. Transitioning to natural hair can dig up some ugly demons from your past. So how does this happen and what factors contribute to the desire to hide your hair?
For me, I grew up with The Brady Bunch and Charlie’s Angels. And it was clear to me at a very young age that my own tresses did not fit into the 70’s brand of beauty. For many years, relaxing my hair seemed necessary to feel attractive and feminine. As I grew weary from the harsh chemical treatments and retouch regimen, I considered transitioning to natural hair. But it was several years before I actually did it.
That got me thinking about the reasons why I hesitated, and how I shifted my thinking to go ahead with it. If you are on the fence, maybe this will resonate with you.
What is “attractive”?
Any discussion about the attractiveness of natural hair is a hot button topic. After the civil rights movement and before the 2000s, positive images of black women wearing natural hair weren’t common. To have straight hair meant fitting in. It meant not enduring probing questions about our natural hair. It meant not having to “deal” with it.
So, as a child in the kitchen I sat…waiting for Ultra Sheen and the hot comb to iron my strands. Later as a teen, this was replaced with the harsh, burning chemicals of a relaxer. All to get my bad hair to fit in and not be called out.
Fast forward 30 years, and exasperated with the relaxer prison, I plunged into transitioning to natural hair. This trumped my insecurity about not having straight tresses. I knew my natural hair wasn’t straight—but other than that I had no idea what my non-straight hair was like. After so many years living with straightness, I just didn’t remember what I would be dealing with. What was my gift?
Curiosity.
I had to know what I had. Seeing my own hair as beautiful happened over time. This wasn’t the outcome I imagined, it just happened–through my willingness to present myself as I really am.
Natural hair, a “black box”
As I said before, I didn’t know what I was dealing with. It just felt wrong to not know. This inherent part of me was a stranger. But transitioning to natural hair would solve this mystery.
I made a lot of assumptions of what it may be like, based on how the new growth felt right before a retouch (dry, tight, hard….the black girl’s kryptonite). I have since learned that the relaxer can create damage to the follicles that impacts the first new growth that emerges.
So, I had to give patience to my hair and figure out what it needed. I had to respect the process of healing and getting reacquainted, just like after an argument with an old friend.
Becoming a ‘Product Junkie’
Even before I went natural, the idea of a being a product junkie seemed to be synonymous with a natural hair lifestyle and an empty wallet. As natural hair has become more popular, the sheer number of products geared toward natural hair has exploded.
I feared having to dedicate part of a closet to all these products because my natural hair would “need” them to look and feel great. What I’ve learned is, no one product is a ‘holy grail’, and simplicity is key to a good regimen. To be an ingredient sleuth is the best way to navigate the natural hair care aisle at the store.
Oh the hours of work required…
Those first few months after my one-year transition were enlightening and fun. I was addicted to YouTube videos and eager to try different styles. But as my hair grew longer, so did the time required. I looked for styles that saved me time and have settled into the Wash & Go as my go-to. The important thing is, you can spend as much or as little time caring for and styling your natural tresses! Eight years into a natural hair lifestyle, my only thought about my initial hesitation is,
What took me so long?
If I have any regrets, it’s wishing I’d done it sooner.
Transitioning to natural hair = freedom
Freedom from relaxers and from stylists that charge too much. Enjoyment of a Saturday away from a salon. Liberation to get caught in a downpour and laugh, not cry. The privilege to know that who is looking back at you in the mirror is YOU, the best version of you.
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