Code-switching and Natural Hair
With Halloween around the corner, I can’t help but think about a certain kind of costume that black and brown people often wear, even when it’s not October 31st. That is a veil that sometimes surreptitiously appears, at the office, or at a professional party or function. Your code-switching twin can also appear when around others that may not be comfortable with us in our own skin.
She slips in quietly, into our small talk, meetings, and discussions. She’s not mean, in fact quite the opposite. But, she is the survival tactic that society has taught us is needed to keep us professionally thriving and safe.
40+ hours of code-switching a week
Code-switching occurs when we change the way we talk, our reactions, our clothes, our hair. Our brain has been wired to think this sanitized version of ourselves is better suited for public consumption. When 9 am comes around, she quietly settles in. At 5 pm, she goes to sleep under our desk to be ready for the next workday.
Code-switching is not something anyone is told to do. It is a use-as-needed curtain over our actions, habits, and words to keep our ethnicity from getting in the way. We subconsciously don’t want to create obstacles for promotions, raises, or friendly demeanor from others. We don’t want security to follow us at the department store or in the self-checkout aisle.
Code-switching is nothing more than playing along to get along and be treated fairly. We want acceptance and to be part of the team.
The crumbling of my code-switching twin
When I went from a relaxer to natural in 2015, this was the start of my 9-5 mask becoming askew. Like so many black women, I faithfully did my job and did it well. In spite of this, my corporate career was stagnant and my aspirations and ideas weren’t taken seriously.
At the same time I began to think about the harsh chemicals in my hair and for what exactly? How I wanted to define myself to others became more clear, and much less to do with that 9-5 persona.
Being a mother and teaching my kids how to be good humans was my most important “job”. I began to look for other things that filled me up, like my art and my love of music. Marathon training provided a mental oasis and time with my biggest fan, my dog. I felt the urge to assemble the pieces of a puzzle that made me who I am.
One of those pieces was my natural hair texture.
My hair…who is she?
After 30 years with a relaxer, I felt the pull to get to know my tresses, take her out of the shadows and let her breathe. I needed to redefine my relationship with her. Was she really the villain that society and myself were taught to believe? I had to know…to give her a chance.
I needed congruence with the other sixteen hours of the day. Slowly, I chipped away at corporate America’s definition of who I was from 9 to 5 in other ways as well. I became more assertive and out-spoken, akin to the real me. When I had feelings of invisibility I worked to change it rather than hang out in the shadows.
Wearing my transitioning hair for work didn’t come naturally. Some mornings I had hair fails that morphed into plan B’s and C’s that didn’t look great. Many mornings I felt unattractive and unprofessional as my hair grew out. But all of it was a life-learning experience that ultimately made me a natural hair pro.
Not only that, I began to give myself a lot more patience and grace. I soldiered on down the natural hair path and even though I couldn’t make her perfect, she was mine and that made her worthy by my new standards.
Packing my natural hair mental baggage
The change to my hair was gradual, but apparent. I got some questions, but for the most part, they were out of genuine curiosity from close friends and bewilderment about how “cool” my hair was. I used these opportunities as teaching moments as opposed to taking things personally. Most importantly, eventually these conversations waned.
I learned that I was the one that was putting my hair at the center of attention, not everyone else. So, as I accepted myself and the hair I was born with, others did too because that was the only choice they had. Through transitioning at work, I felt empowered to take control of how I expressed myself in other ways. Since then, my code-switched twin is mostly a memory.
Giving up your code-switching twin
Is your job holding you back from going natural? It is illegal to mandate that employees wear certain hair styles, thanks to the Crown Act and its adoption in many states. If this is a change you want to make, consider these other realities:
- You probably think about your hair more than anyone else at your office. After a short amount of time, any questions about your hair and what you are doing with it will stop.
- Going through a transition to natural can be managed, and you absolutely can look and feel professional and polished.
- Natural hair doesn’t require as many products as some would lead you to believe. You can plan a business trip and pack what you need in a carry-on bag.
- Doing your hair in the morning before work doesn’t have to be laborious. There are many hacks and daily strategies you can use to breeze through getting ready.
- A little planning goes a long way. A style at the beginning of the week can be morph into a different style later in the week without a lot of trouble (i.e. flat twists –> twistout)
Considering a transition to your natural texture? I have a 12-month transition program coming soon that not only will help you anticipate the changes but will teach you to be a boss of coil-care and make them thrive after your transition. It is called The Confident Coils Blueprint. For more information, click the button below.
