Starting A Natural Hair Journey
Long before starting a natural hair journey, I was in a 30 year rut with a relaxer. Every six weeks, I had a Saturday date at the hair salon to make the curly bumps on my scalp go away. This pattern started in earnest in high school. I got bullied for having “nappy” hair, so my first relaxer was more like a survival strategy. Fitting in seemed important and certainly not getting beat up was a bonus.
So the concealment commenced. Once I started down the relaxer road, my hair didn’t give anyone a reason to bother me. I melted into the straight hair sameness of everyone else. This continued into college and beyond. Every six Saturdays I had plans that couldn’t be broken.
“Good” Hair
How did I become estranged from my hair? It’s complicated and didn’t happen overnight. One thing I know is that we all process imagery throughout our lives that comes at us from every direction. Ads, commercials, magazines and TV shows glamorize the ideal of what attractive hair looks like, which mine didn’t come close to resembling.
Some of my earliest memories involved playing pretend and wearing a large towel on my head—a terry cloth wig of “good” hair, swinging it back and forth, wishing it to be my own. My own hair, a stranger so stubbornly disobedient to the forces of gravity, didn’t fit the beauty standard mold.
What is my natural hair really like?
As the years went on, salon visits became more about an obligation than self-care. Ironically, straightening my hair was an attempt at social acceptance, and a subconscious rejection of accepting myself for who I truly was. One day it disturbingly occurred to me that I had no recollection of what my natural hair texture really was.
This feeling stuck, and I became curious about going natural. It was becoming more common, and I wondered what mine would be like. In 2014 it hit me—how bad could it be to skip my next trip to the salon to find out? And the scarier follow-up question was, how would my world of work, family, and everything in-between, receive this more authentic version of me?
A natural hair journey begins
Thus, my natural hair journey began. In the process, I have uncovered a true old friend, you know the kind that you haven’t talked to in a long time, but when you see them, you can pick up where you left off? As each month went by and my coils grew healthier and longer, I began to learn what my hair liked, didn’t like, how it responded to the weather and my activities.
I discovered that just like an old friend, my hair had a personality and an opinion. It definitely would let me know when it didn’t like something I’d done to it. Conversely, it would reward me with softness, definition and movement when I was doing all the right things. Even now, 8 years later, my journey continues with my hair as I’m always learning about what makes it look and feel great.
The real me
Starting a natural hair journey has led me to reclaim the pride and dignity that I didn’t realize I had lost. Presenting myself more authentically has helped me to feel more confident than at any other time in my life. This is what a true old friend does—makes you feel at your best, knows and accepts you as you are, and loves you unconditionally. It’s the least I can do for my hair.
Do you have relaxed hair, are curious about transitioning, but don’t want to big chop? I give my best tips from my own experience. Learn from my misteps to have a better experience.
Do you want to be natural but unsure about how? I can work with you 1 on1 and design a program customized for you.
